This morning, my Hubby put a case of returnable soda bottles into our car while I was still getting dressed, hoping I would take the hint and get rid of them after work.
Then he came back upstairs, walked into our bedroom, looking as if something terrible had just happened. He said: "I'm so sorry, but I just broke off the steering wheel! I don't know how this could happen!!"
While I was still trying hard not to get a heart attack, he gleefully cried: "April's Fool!"
Now you might think I'm rather stupid to have believed this outrageous story in the first place, but I'd like to point out that I was still getting dressed, which means that I was not yet awake. On weekday mornings, I'm running on autopilot till I leave the house and start our car.
Strange things are happening in and around my workplace.
Today a collegue went past my office and held up his hands which were apparently cupped around something small. He told me he had found a butterfly that had prematurely interrupted its hibernation, so he was going to put it outside where the cold would surely remind it of the season. He said this would give the butterfly at least a chance at survival while it would surely die if left inside.
So. Not really strange, you say? Things like that happen once in a while?
Right, but this was only what happened today.
Yesterday evening, when I left the building to go home, I heard a "cheep, chirp" behind me and turned just in time to see a teeny tiny bird flitting away. It was black and no bigger than my thumb. Hm. As far as I know there are no birds around here that are that small. And it can't have been a baby, as the breeding season is still a while off, I'd say.
Shaking my head, I went to my car, only to see a small black (and, alas, dead) lizard pressed into the snow. What? Lizards? Here? In winter?
I think I'm going to have a nice lie-down now, thank you.
...and warned me not to go shopping at my favourite shop in my hometown. She had been there earlier today and almost collapsed because of the heat and the stale air, so she thought I shouldn't risk going there.
As I had a few things on my shopping list that are only sold there, I didn't heed her advice, and I must say: I've no idea what she was on about.
I slouched through the aisles, serenely breathing syrup with no oxygen content whatsoever instead of air. I only needed about 3 times as long as usual till I was finished.
When I stepped outside, my head swelled to the size of a balloon, gently detached itself and floated away on the breeze, leaving my body to fend for itself. Nevertheless, I managed to find my car and drive home, so what's the big deal?^^
She brightly chirped: "Are you doing anything special at the moment?", sounding as if she wanted to go to the cinema with us or something. As I was feeling extremely lazy and Hubby was dozing on the sofa, I replied: "Hmnaaa, and I don't feel like doing anything right now..."
Mel said (still sounding insanely cheerful): "That's too bad, as I need you to drive me to the hospital!"
I: "..."
She: "I think my finger might be broken. Either that, or it's a bruise from hell."
As it turned out, it wasn't broken, "only" very badly bruised, but it looked like the middle joint was smashed to pieces. It was swollen horribly and turning a nice shade of blue.
How she managed to do this to herself? Gneeheeheee, ask her...
Well, there are bad hose days, too. If your supporting hose starts bunching up in the backs of your knees 2 minutes after you've put them on in the morning, you know it's gonna be a bad hose day.
A few days ago I wanted to wash some clothes, so I went down into the cellar where all our washing machines are. Mine is the one in the middle, so I walked past the first one, which was running. As soon as I was past it, it said "Yum-yum, yum-yum, yum-yum..."
I managed to escape without being eaten by a crazed washing machine, but I won't take that risk again...
But I've bought two ridiculously small teddy bears as a present to myself this morning.
*stomps her foot triumphantly*
Comments: Melantrys said... *hugs* Happy birthday, dear! Your presents have already arrived... hopefully we'll be able to deliver on Wednesday maybe...? Mafdet said... *hugs Mel back* Delivery on Wednesday sounds fine, but only if you are completely healthy by then. And if there's no ice on the streets. *leans back and worries some more* khalid jarrar said... **pops out of nowhere** happpy birthdaaay too yoouuuuu haappy birrrrthddaay too youuuuuuu happy birthdaaaay madafeeeeeeeet happy birthdaaaaayyyyyy tooooo.... youuuuuuu! and glad to hear you are feeling better too! :D **as she stares trying to understand who is that came out of the blue and knows much about her, he explains that he is mean iraqi friend of Mel. that keeps making fun of germans for the lack of comedians among their poppulation** Mafdet said... *nods in a friendly way to this mean iraqi friend of Mel* Welcome to my blog and thank you for your birthday song. lelly said... Hi.my god.Your turtle Om is hypnotic. I must NEVER get one of those :P Mafdet said... LOL... ;o)
10.01.2009 Pulmonary embolism, part 2
Now that I've left the hospital and am a resident of this wonderful rehab clinic to get me into shape to continue my normal life, I think it's time for another post.
Let's take a look at the bright side for a change.
I've received good wishes from all over the world in the comment section of my last post. Thanks again, guys and gals.
I'll be here till January 20th, so I'll be home soon.
I can walk about 150 meters without starting to wheeze.
I can take a shower in the morning and stop wheezing very soon after I've sat down for a while after leaving the bathroom...
I've stopped smoking since the embolism-thingy happened to me.
I'm determined to lose some weight.
I'm equally determined to exercise a bit in the future. (Not too much, of course, as I'm criminally lazy.)
My Hubby brought a stuffed toy as a gift while I was still in the intensive care unit. It's a small tiger with a friendly smile. I've named it Mr. Raines. (Does anybody remember the TV series "Pretender"? And Mr. Raines, that evil old man with an oxygen tube attached to his nose?)
OK, my sense of humour might be somewhat whacky sometimes, but at that time one of my doctors said it might be possible that I'd never be free of an oxygen tube, so naming the tiger Mr. Raines struck me as hilariously funny.
Anyway, the important thing is that I collect stuffed toys - and my Hubby's always grumbling about it, saying all those cute grinning fluffy toy animals take up too much space in our apartment. So I'm always very pleased when he sees fit to add to their number himself.
Did I forget anything important?
Ah, yes, children: Do stop smoking please. It really isn't good for your health. Trust me on this...
Comments: lelly said... Glad ur looking for the positive.;) Lol re. fluffy toys - my sister has a seriously creepy teddy, I swear its eyes follow you around the room. I keep throwing a scarf or something over it but next time I look its watching me again... Best, L. Mafdet said... Now, that's one spoooooky teddy bear... oO
24.12.2008 Pulmonary embolism... not funny... (sigh)
Sooo...
I'm still around, that's something.
On the 11th, my Hubby had to call an Ambulance cause I collapsed two times in a row, having difficulty sucking in enough air. I felt nauseous and had blue lips (so he tells me - I didn't ask for a mirror).
The diagnosis was (as you might have guessed) pulmonary embolism.
I've got these fat, ugly blood clots sitting smugly in the main arteries of my lungs. On both sides, naturally - why do things by halves?
Now I get to breathe pure oxygen coming out of a tube that's strung under my nose. (When I'm in my room, that is. As I'm allowed to dodder around a bit, I sometimes leave the tube behind.)
And I'm getting highly dosed blood thinner to help dissolve those ugly clots.
Plus, I'm wearing a very stylish pantyhose (rather tight, though...) which I'm not allowed to take off on my own.
Ah, well, I'm alive. And some day next year they might even let me go home again.
Wait a few weeks and I'm gonna see the funny side and post something hilarious here.
Till then... toodle-oo!
Comments: Melantrys said... *patterdeepatterdeepat* aNarki-13 said... Ouch.. Wishing you good health :) well, the good thing is the doctors caught it in time :) God/[Insert belief-system-of-choice here] bless and keep you all safe :) exclamation mark full stop attawie said... Poor thing! I second anarki :) Do you get to eat jello while staying in the hospital? take care lelly said... Best wishes Maffy, hope u get well soon! Mafdet said... Ah... more, more. *basks in all that pity and all those good wishes* Thx, guys and gals, you're very kind.
30.10.2007 Sorry, I absolutely HAD to show this here:
Comments: Caesar of Pentra said... Hey, woman! Where are you? I hope you are Ok! Come hit me some time later.
04.10.2007 Only 27 days to Halloween...
...so it's high time to... um... decorate the office.
This "Scream"-mask is an item my collegue R*** is very fond of.
She loves to put it on and creep up on people from behind, suddenly shouting "Booh!". I guess she secretely wishes to murder us all, mwahaahaaa.
Today she fashioned a dummy, sitting on a chair and wearing the mask. She then rolled it up to H****'s desk in our office.
When he entered the room, however, he wasn't very impressed with his "replacement".
So, during our lunch break, the dummy was put near the entrance so my co-worker T**** who starts work in the afternoon would get the maximum effect. She at least jumped a little when she saw the thing.
Should I mention that today I got hit by a roll of toilet paper while doing on a toilet what you usually do there? Should I further mention that this highly unusual missile was hurled by none other than R***...?
Comments: Melantrys said... Hm, that reminds me that we should start selling the Halloween stuff. On the other hand that'd mean having to make several trips into the cellar..... *screams* Mafdet said... Several trips into the cellar? The cold, gloomy, scary cellar? SCREEEAAAM! Wyqzvtu? Is that the name of the monster that lives down there? Has a faintly Lovecraftean ring to it... Melantrys said... Bah, the monster's been outdated. The cellar is being occupied by a huge swarm of half starved mosquitoes...... Mafdet said... As I said: SCREEEAAAM!!! jybjifys?
13.09.2007 Crusaders
I'm just reading a novel (set in the Middle Ages) in which a young man who has committed a terrible sin goes on not just one, but on numerous crusades to gain God's forgiveness.
Hmmm... That bears further reflection.
I lean back, close my eyes, and imagine...
I'm a man, perhaps a knight(?).
I live in the Middle Ages.
I'm very religious, which doesn't prevent me from sinning horribly.
One day I realize I urgently need atonement.
So I join a crusade to travel to a faraway country and kill as many of the people living there as possible.
On my journey back I feel great relief, as I'm sure God's smiling down on me now.
After all, I did His will.
To pass the time, I take out my well-worn bible for a bit of light reading.
I get to the part where God hands Moses the Ten Commandments.
One of them is "Thou Shalt Not Kill".
...Oops...
18.07.2007 Look what my Sis did to me:
"You have been caught spamming.
You know what happens to spammers.
Your mistake...
You are banned!!!!!
Mwahahahahahahahahaha!"
This is what I saw when I tried to access Mel's blog a few minutes ago. *sniffle, sob* How did I earn that? I just wanted to follow David's wish to get more action into the comment section. Waaaaaah!
Comments: Caesar of Pentra said... Hey, I have a lil' secret for you. Your bad sis blocked your work IP. That means you can access it from home! :)) Caesar of Pentra said... *Anyways, SPAMMERS are EVIL! *SPAM SUCKS! *Don't spam others! *SPAM is the 8th deadly sin! *LONG LIVE, MELANTRYS! Mafdet said... ...sssssssssst......Caesar........(looks furtively around to see if Mel's near)....thanx for your advice.... I won't tell her who told me.........(ducks back into hiding) aNarki-13 said... actually you can still access her blog just as easy: just search for Proxy IP lists online, choose one, and enter the IP address and Port No. in your internet connection settings. easy peasy :) when you're done, remove it, cuz it will slow down your connection due to routing your outgoing address thru some faraway country, and back to Melly's blog. have fun! Caesar of Pentra said... Hey, Mafdet! Mel told me that she has a problem with her PC. How is she? Did she manage to fix that bad PC? Btw, have you heard about the Iraqi national team recent vics? We have won the asian cup! Yeeaaahhh! I hope you visit my blog to read about that.
29.05.2007 This morning, in my office...
...I first noticed that one of my cacti started to bloom.
This made me glad, of course, because it's the first time it's done that.
Then I saw crumbs of soil on the windowsill and asked myself "how did they get there?"
A closer examination showed this:
O.k., you can't see much on the last pic, so lean closer and look again:
Looks like a mouse tried to dig a hole - at least I hope it was a mouse and not a fist-sized spider (shudder). Comments: Melantrys said... Urgh? Stefan said... And I thought, the goblin did it ...
28.05.2007 My Sis's flown to Syria
Today I drove Mel to the airport so she could board a plane to Syria to visit Cesar of Pentra. Naturally, I couldn't resist pointing my camera at her for few "parting shots" before she vanished through the gate. I'm particularly proud of this pic because I took it - while she was rummaging in her carry-on luggage - without her noticing, heehee.
This is her facial expression after I told her about the first pic.
This is her enduring another snapshot...
...and this is her finally giving up on me and taking a last look at her flight documents to check if she forgot anything (a bit late, if you ask me). :o)
Comments: Melantrys said... You misspelled Caesar...... Mafdet said... So I did. I'm deeply ashamed and utterly, completely, most humbly, very, very sorry... Frenzie said... Nice shirt, amyfa! chikitita said... Wow melantrys is a celebrity :) besides a loyal clawfinger fan. Good job Mafdet chikitita said... and I was paid by someone you don't know to say spammers are BAD Mafdet said... lol
19.04.2007 I'm truly sorry, but...
...I did it again. I've created another totally boring flick. I just couldn't help myself...
14.04.2007 Look what I found!
O.K., I must admit, it's late. I should have gone to bed at least an hour ago, but I just couldn't wrench myself loose from the computer. But that's a good thing, actually, because now I can share this weird link:
This leads to a site that helps you do things like this:
"Who needs this?" you ask?
Why, everybody!
Have you ever tried writing cookie-letters by pasting cookies to a piece of paper?
Did you notice what a mess you made? Bits of glue and crumbs everywhere.
And all the expensive stamps you had to buy to send those heavy things.
And the recipient couldn't read half of it because most cookies either fell off or were crushed in transit.
Now you feel really, really stupid for doubting my wisdom in sharing this link, eh?
12.04.2007 Staplerfahrer Klaus / forklift operator Klaus.
I just had to do this.
I had to embed this clip here.
It's a film to show people how NOT to handle a forklift, and it's hilarious.
WARNING: Don't watch this if you're squeamish and/or get nauseous if you see blood...
mwahahaha...
02.03.2007 project Zottelmonster
Don't ask...
16.02.2007 Hallucination
YouTube... sometimes you just gotta love it!
16.02.2007 The amazing lyrebird
I'd never before heard of this weird bird, but I think it's very funny, so I wanted to share.
14.02.2007 ...
If I remember correctly, I promised to bore you to tears here.
So: It's my lunch break. I'm sitting here, facing forward and being exceedingly bored.
As I'm a generous person, I've decided to share.
My workday was totally unremarkable and uneventful so far, and I guess it will continue that way.
I've just looked out of the window and noticed a truck driving into our yard. The driver will come in, tell me how many empty pallets he's going to unload today and then he will start loading today's shipments to various cities in Germany. After that he'll sign the papers I'll have to have ready by that time, then he'll drive away.
Oh, he's just come in and looked into my office and told me it will be 4 empty pallets today.
And now I can see him loading the first pallets into his truck.
This much excitement isn't good for my poor heart! ;o)
What else is there to say?
Oh, yes: Today's lunch break is boring... boring... boring...
10.02.2007 This is weird...
First the not-weird-but-strange part: As I might have mentioned before (either here or elsewhere), my hubby presented me with a new computer for my birthday, that is, he presented me with a piece of paper on which I was promised a new computer. He had already ordered the thing but it hadn't been delivered yet.
An eternity after that, the 'puter arrived at our doorstep, meaning, when we got home from work one day it was sitting in front of our door because some kindly neighbour had accepted the delivery during our absence. So we hauled it inside, unpacked it... and were not so happy anymore. The front was smashed in on one side. It looked like someone had hit it with a fist. So my hubby e-mailed the shop and told them to take it away again and replace it with an undamaged one. They mailed back asking him to go to our post office to get a statement that the damage occurred during transport. As the carton was completely undamaged we didn't really think this was an option. After some more mails flying back and forth the dealer agreed to take the computer back. Two days later we were rid of the thing and settled back, waiting for the new one. And we waited. And waited. Finally, my hubby sent an e-mail, asking when they thought they might possibly deliver the new computer...? They mailed back: "Oh, sorry, there has been a mistake. We dismantled your computer, thinking you didn't want it anymore. Should we assemble a new one for you? Or would you like your money back?" Understandably (I think), my hubby went for the second option.
So... still no new 'puter. The day after that I fell ill (not with grief, though ;o), I was really sick), and when my hubby came home from work he was huffing and puffing while coming through the door, there was the sound of something being dragged across the floor, and he moaned: "My, Aldi-computers are really HEAVY!" (Aldi = big chain of discount-stores over here) So now I had my new 'puter! Hurray!
The next evening, when I was feeling well again I started it, installed our AOL 9.0 software while humming happily... Then "puti" told me AOL 9.0 wasn't compatible with Windows Vista. Sigh...
So I re-connected the old computer, went online and tried to download AOL 9.0 VR, meaning to copy it on CD and then install it on "puti". I could download and save AOL's download manager alright. I could then use it to download AND INSTALL AOL 9.0 VR. Without an option to save the setup.exe or anything. I need AOL 9.0 VR on my OLD computer like a fish needs a bike.
So, next day, I called the AOL-hotline. The friendly lady there told me that free 9.0 VR software was lying in "Schlecker"-shops (don't ask) and filling stations, so I should be able to pick up a CD without any problems. After work we went to all three "Schlecker"-shops in our town and to two filling stations. At Schlecker's they had stacks and stacks of... AOL 9.0. At the filling stations they told us they had never had any AOL software and weren't expecting ever to get some.
That meant for me: back to the phone. This time another friendly lady told me to go to www.aol.de/ RAGA (or some such address; still using the old computer, of course), click on "download" and then on "save" instead of "execute". I was just moving the cursor towards the "save" button when I saw the file I was about to save was my old friend, the download manager, not 9.0 VR... When I told her that she offered to send me the software. She was confident that I should get it by Monday. But I wanted to go online with the new computer now, not next week! *stomps her feet*
So I tried the AOL-help-chat. AND some friendly guy there told me how I could get online via our DSL-Modem using our AOL name and password without any AOL software whatsoever, to then download 9.0 VR. (Had I been a computer whiz I probably could have known that myself, but alas, I am a computer idiot.)
And now to the weird part: I did download AOL 9.0 VR. Somehow it doesn't work, however. Yet I am online right now. Being a computer idiot, this baffles me completely. I thought the method of going online that he showed me was just some kind of emergency gimmick to give me the opportunity to download the software and then going online properly, USING that software.
So, either there's a perfectly plausible explanation for this and I've just outed myself as the world's biggest idiot, or I've discovered another baffling mystery that will some day cause a paradox that will eat the universe...
Comments: Melantrys said... Hm. Mafdet said... My, my, aren't we talkative today... ;o) Marah Marie said... The only paradox is that you didn't know you don't need AOL to connect to the Internet if you already have a DSL connection through another ISP. That really is hilarious. Even funnier is the AOL Chat person told you to download the 9.0 VR software you don't need even though you were already online without it. They really know how to keep the old adage going: "AOL IS the Internet." When will people learn? Mafdet said... Yeah, well... I DID say I'm not a geek but an idiot... :o( Neha said... Hi, I ordered a new pc (well refurbished with windows vista) and couldn't get on aol at all with it. As the disk wouldn't work and the dsl modem wasn't being detected for some strange reason. So sent that back and ordered a new dell computer once again with vista. Can you please tell me how you connected to AOL without using the AOL software please. Just incase I have the same problem again :(. My email addi is neha.c1@gmail.com would be very greatful if you could tell me
25. January 2007 There's still hope...
...for the future of man.
Generally, I don't like kids much. Sorry, but most of them are grubby little creatures that don't seem too bright. I shudder at the thought that they will rule the world at the time when I'll be too old and feeble to fend for myself. But my collegue's got a little daughter. She's two and a quarter years old at the moment and she IS bright. She's already able to string whole sentences together, which isn't normal nowadays for kids of that age.
And today my collegue told me that she was talking with a few friends and one of them said: "Oh, kids! It's so hard to get them to sleep at night. They keep climbing out of bed, wanting something to eat or drink or they say they've got a tummyache..." My collegue clapped her hands over her daughter's ears and said, "Don't give her any ideas, now." Her friend said, "Awww, you don't really think she understands us...?" And my collegue's daughter said: "I am not stupid!"
Go, girl!
11. January 2007 Tomorrow's my birthday
...and I will get some interesting presents.
When I asked my hubby last week or so what he intended to give me he said: "You know this fairytale about the salt in the soup?"
I: "So you're going to give me a packet of salt for a present...?"
He: "You see, wen I was searching for a present I went through this big shopping mall. But they only had ugly, boring things like gold and diamonds and cars. I just couldn't find a really good present for you. Then I met this wise old man and asked him what I could buy for you. And he told me a story. It involved a king, a princess, salt, soup, exile, return and welcome. Then he said: 'I guess now you'll know what to do!' - And I thought: 'That's brilliant! That's the ideal present for my love!' and went and bought a packet of salt. I'm beginning to have second thoughts now..."
And a few days ago my mother-in-law called to ask me what I'd like for a birthday present. I couldn't think of anything at the spur of the moment and asked my husband to give her a hint.
After he'd talked to her I naturally wanted to know what she'd give me. He said: "You know, there are things you can use which you need. Socks, for example. And then there are things which are basically useless and which you could gladly do without." Hmmm..., I thought, there ARE things you can do without because you don't really NEED them but which you'd like to have anyway. So I asked: Is it something I want?" He said: "No, you don't need it and you don't want it."
So he told my mother-in-law to give me something I don't need and don't want...?
Nice.
AND my collegue at work today told me she had the ideal present for me: an industrial-size salt cellar. As my husband had confided to her that I wouldn't just get a packet of salt from him but a whole sackful, she'd thought I'd be overjoyed if I had a fitting container tu use all that salt. On hearing this, my hubby cried: Oh no, I've bought one of those things, too!"
So... Tomorrow, I will get: A mountain of salt. Two heavy-duty salt cellars. Something useless I'd rather do without.
But there's still hope. Nobody told me what my sister and my father are going to give me. Perhaps a bale of hay? A pallet of ostrich eggs so I've got something to sprinkle all that salt on?? A nice rug to throw over that useless thing so I won't have to look at it every day?
Mwahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
04.January 2007 Settling in
So. This is my brand-new blog. Hm... *looks around, wiggles fanny on cushion* feels nice and comfy. The thing is, it's late and I'm terribly tired, so I think I'll call it a night.
Next week, next month or next year I just might start to seriously use this thing.
I'm a slightly dotty cat lover. What else? Oh yes, I do like reading. And knitting! And crocheting, even!! Imagine that!!! - Oh, and my newest hobby is stalking through the shrubbery and taking snaps of anything that's too slow to flee, so I might just be inclined to torture you with my pics, too. *grins evilly*
